Unfortunately, The King is not a viable character. Allow me to quote the response e-mail we sent our original applicant for this character to illustrate my point:
Dear king of awesome,
We're sorry to inform you that your application has been rejected from Landel's Damned. However, we aren't so cold-hearted as to leave you wondering what we didn't like about it, so here are the objective reasons why we decided against accepting it:
- While we hate to spoil the plot for you, your application is so incompatible with our currently planned storyline that we must explain ourselves so that you understand our concerns. For starters, "Jack" the Radio Man is in fact the same "Jack" who represents the Jack in the Box franchise; the only reason he was able to blend in with the patient population was by using illusion powers to mask his giant, bulbuous head. The Head Doctor, on the other hand, spends so little time with the patients because his true identity is that of Ronald McDonald, and his ultimate goal at Landel's is to test McDonalds' new lines of greasy lunch foods on the unsuspecting patient populace. This was once Jack's goal as well, but they ended up having a horrible falling out over Jack's insistence that the Institute serve breakfast "all day long."
It is perhaps because of these distractions that Ronald "Marty" McDonald hasn't yet figured out that his head nurse, "Lydia," is actually Wendy of the Wendy's franchise, who is spying on him as part of her alliance with Colonel Sanders, a military despot whose lust for chicken buckets is only surpassed by his love for power. It is in fact the Chicken Bucket Battle of '18 that sparked the Great Burger Wars, in which the mighty food conglomerates battled with their ill-fed armies and caused the world of Landel's Institute to become the post-apocalyptic wasteland it is today. In fact, the battles only ended when the legendary King of the Burger King franchise amassed enough men to proclaim himself "Pope King Badass XXX," and the rest of the conglomerates temporarily worked together to bring him down despite his godly powers of universal destruction. In the end, they had to seal him and his power in a cavern underneath an old, abandoned mental hospital, which Ronald then promptly took over and claimed as his own. Since then, Ronald has been drawing on the King's power from underneath the Institute in order to pull fast food focus groups from different dimensions (he's planning on expanding into "new territory"), and Jack, Wendy, and Colonel Sanders have been trying to take him down to steal the power for themselves.
As you can see, it would be quite impossible for us to accept your character as a patient. Thank you for your cooperation.
no subject
Dear king of awesome,
We're sorry to inform you that your application has been rejected from Landel's Damned. However, we aren't so cold-hearted as to leave you wondering what we didn't like about it, so here are the objective reasons why we decided against accepting it:
- While we hate to spoil the plot for you, your application is so incompatible with our currently planned storyline that we must explain ourselves so that you understand our concerns. For starters, "Jack" the Radio Man is in fact the same "Jack" who represents the Jack in the Box franchise; the only reason he was able to blend in with the patient population was by using illusion powers to mask his giant, bulbuous head. The Head Doctor, on the other hand, spends so little time with the patients because his true identity is that of Ronald McDonald, and his ultimate goal at Landel's is to test McDonalds' new lines of greasy lunch foods on the unsuspecting patient populace. This was once Jack's goal as well, but they ended up having a horrible falling out over Jack's insistence that the Institute serve breakfast "all day long."
It is perhaps because of these distractions that Ronald "Marty" McDonald hasn't yet figured out that his head nurse, "Lydia," is actually Wendy of the Wendy's franchise, who is spying on him as part of her alliance with Colonel Sanders, a military despot whose lust for chicken buckets is only surpassed by his love for power. It is in fact the Chicken Bucket Battle of '18 that sparked the Great Burger Wars, in which the mighty food conglomerates battled with their ill-fed armies and caused the world of Landel's Institute to become the post-apocalyptic wasteland it is today. In fact, the battles only ended when the legendary King of the Burger King franchise amassed enough men to proclaim himself "Pope King Badass XXX," and the rest of the conglomerates temporarily worked together to bring him down despite his godly powers of universal destruction. In the end, they had to seal him and his power in a cavern underneath an old, abandoned mental hospital, which Ronald then promptly took over and claimed as his own. Since then, Ronald has been drawing on the King's power from underneath the Institute in order to pull fast food focus groups from different dimensions (he's planning on expanding into "new territory"), and Jack, Wendy, and Colonel Sanders have been trying to take him down to steal the power for themselves.
As you can see, it would be quite impossible for us to accept your character as a patient. Thank you for your cooperation.
-- Damned Mods
P.S. "Jill" is the Hamburglar.