Oktoberfest '08 Entry, Endure by Kiarae

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Title: Endure
Author: Kiarae
Beta (if applicable): Yeah right
Word Count: 3,289
Rating: I wanna say it’s G, but someone uses bad words, so maybe PG?
Character(s): Kurogane yes, fail and Robin, (with mentions of Sakura Lily and Syaoran Samuel)
Pairing(s) (if applicable): There’s only two characters. CLAMP characters. I don’t think I’m allowed to specifically state that there’s a pairing there, am I?
Summary: Again CLAMP. From Fluff to Angst all in one little visit. Enjoy!
Notes (if applicable): So if you can’t tell, RL kicked my butt hard and I only just barely managed to do something that 1. is finished and 2. I’m happy enough with. Still not terribly happy with it and the ending is uber!fail, but it’s going up dangit! Just…. whatever, it’s simple and linear and a story and YEAH!

"Aidyeeeeeeeeen~?"

Looking up was unneeded for that voice. Even if that one word had been different, hadn’t been overly cheerful or sung out like a stupid bird, Kurogane still would have known it. He’d had to put up with it for he’d nearly forgotten how long, and he still didn’t care for acknowledging its owner’s existence for any longer than he had to. Not with how he’d acted then, or with how he acted now.

“Yoo-hoo, Aidypoooo~”

Kurogane ground his back teeth. Simply ignoring this had never worked before, and it probably wasn’t going to work now, but this was the one thing he preferred delaying until he had no other choice but to deal with it. He could sense a presence drawing nearer, hear the light taps of his shoes (was that idiot skipping?!), and feel…

… something touching him.

“Ai-chan~” Robin cooed as he playfully poked the small end of a wire whisk into the cheek of his friend.

Two hands slammed the table Kurogane was sitting at. “Stop calling me that, dammit!” he barked, snapping at what he’d thought had been a finger to his cheek. Thankfully though for the whisk (and probably Kurogane’s teeth), Robin pulled it back just in time to avoid any serious damage to metal or bone alike.

“Ayaaaaaaan, Ai-chan’s mean today!” Robin whined, tapping the whisk’s handle to his pouting lips.

Kurogane snorted and looked away. He knew he’d let his anger get the better of him there. “I told you to stop calling me that,” he repeated more calmly but while still allowing his tone to reflect his bad mood.

Continuing his teasing pout, Robin dropped his hands and rested them on his hips. Yes, he’d been told more than enough times to know that the man did not like his nicknames, or even the name they actually came from, but a habit was a habit. Those were just too hard to break. And besides that, teasing Aiden was fun! “Ehhhh? But Aiden’s just too plaaaaaain,” his whining continued, “And that other one’s just too hard to remember, Ai-chan! It doesn’t fit you anyway!” His right hand came back up, waving as though it were no big deal.

“I don’t care.” What did his name “fitting” have to do with anything? “I know my name, and no matter what you say, it’s not changing,” he growled and moved his eyes back, glaring upwards from his seat, “Now get it right.”

Robin huffed out a sigh, “All right, all right,” he agreed, then folded his arms and turned his eyes towards the ceiling, expression showing that he was thinking hard. Now what was Aidynun’s other name again? It started with a “K”, didn’t it? “Mmmmm…”

“Geeze,” Kurogane sighed himself and left the blond to his “difficult task”.

Even when Fai had known Kurogane’s name, he’d never once used it right. Now that he was convinced of the Ninja being some “Aiden Cross”, Kurogane would have been lucky if he even heard a simple “Kuro” out of the man. Not that he actually missed any of those names. He hadn’t like them then, and he wouldn’t have liked them now, but he knew he would have liked them a hell of a lot more than the ones he was dealing with now and had been dealing with for nearly half a year.

That’s how long ago they’d gotten stuck in this place, about the same time as they’d been Shura, and over half of that time had left the magician as “being cured” according to the Institution’s standards. Kurogane could still remember when Fai had vanished that one night, then had shown up not too long after as his “visitor”. That had been just after the Princess had once again come and gone and about a week following that thing on the second floor. Not to mention that visitor Fai had been seeing every week - Aaron, he called him now, but it had been Ashura long before.

Kurogane had known just how broken Fai had become during their stay here, and how fragile he’d been in that week before. Despite how he’d tried to keep the man from falling apart, in the end, he hadn’t been able to do anything at all. They’d let him go, put him beyond the Ninja’s reach. And now Kurogane was paying for his inability back then with these stupid weekly visits.

“I can’t remembeeeeeeeeeeer.”

More whining and fake pouting from the blond had Kurogane giving up on his name for the moment. He wasn’t expecting anything anyway. “The hell’s that thing,” he asked suddenly, setting his eyes to the metal thing Fai had been poking him with earlier and pointing towards it.

Robin immediately snapped out of his pretend straining over the answer and looked down. “Hm? Oh, this!” He suddenly remembered what he had in hand and held it up proudly. “It’s called a wire whisk! You use it for mixing things to make sweets!” And that naturally made it a very important thing for Robin. “I wanted to bring an electric one in, but I didn’t want the nurses getting mad like the last time,” he sighed.

Last time. Kurogane forced himself to restrain a very large twitch, but the look on his face did enough to give away how he felt about last time. That was not something easily forgotten by anyone in the place.

Apparently “Robin” believed that he needed to teach his friend all about the modern things he’d “forgotten” from his real life. So he’d been attempting to do just that. Every week Kurogane had seen something different courtesy of the cured Fai: things from the really advanced such as a cell phone and an iPod, to much more basic items. One time he’d even brought in some dog-looking thing that barked and flipped over in the air when you moved a switch. Lots of the things he’d brought had been really stupid, but some had interested Kurogane more. As for last time though…

He hadn’t known what it was or what it was supposed to do, but he’d been pretty sure that Fai shouldn’t have set it on fire! And of course that idiot had only laughed through the whole thing of explosions and flames and it raining inside!

Kurogane couldn’t say he didn’t know what sprinklers were now though.

“They shouldn’t let you bring anything ever again,” he grumbled, closing his eyes.

“Hmmmmmm~?” A grin crossed Robin’s face, mischief gleaming in his eyes as he squared up Kurogane’s turned head. “But then I wouldn’t be able to do this!” He whipped the whisk back out in a flash and had the whisk part of it messing about in Kurogane’s hair. But only for a few seconds. He wasn’t fast enough this time to keep the angry shinobi from yanking it out of his grasp. “Nyaaa~~”

“What’s wrong with you?!”

“There’s nothing wrong with me, Aidikyuuu~” Robin laughed, though in the back of his head he added a much more solemn not anymore. Nope, right now only Aiden had things wrong, and that was why Robin was there to cheer him up! He’d been here for so much longer than Robin had himself… he had to be getting grumpy with no one to play with but once a week! “You can keep that one for now. I brought more!” he beamed, pulling up a bag he’d brought along with him.

Groaning, Kurogane slammed the whisk to the table. The only assured way out of this would be to get himself sedated and taken away, but just as many times before, Kurogane refused to let himself be seen like that if he could help it. And besides that, he would not give Landel that kind of satisfaction. “Do not put anything else in my hair,” he set the terms and slid a hand over his hair to untangle it from before.

“All right!” Robin agreed, then overturned his bag onto the table without caring for what fell where.

Kurogane watched the mess fall where it would, recognizing some things but mostly not knowing what was what. It wasn’t hard to pick out a wooden spoon amongst the mess, and there were some scraps of fabric that probably had various uses. The rest were new or only vaguely familiar. At least he didn’t spot anything electronic.

“To be honest I just went and grabbed things this time. No time to plan really since I had to rush out of the door,” Robin admitted, fingering one of the cloth items and dragging it across the table to himself, “It’s so different when you’ve got a job, you know? Oh, but you wouldn’t know because that’s what I was going to tell you about today! You’ll never guess Aidymon!” He clapped his hands together, but didn’t give the answer right away. He much preferred to make a game out of it. “But you should try anyway. Come on, what do you think I’m going to say?”

“Stop babbling already,” Kurogane huffed out, “I’m not in the mood for your games.”

Robin made a face at him. “You’re no fun!” But really, he hadn’t expected the man to care for either his games or having fun. Some things could be still be counted on from Aiden, at least. “But anyway, I wanted to tell you that I finally opened that café I’ve been telling you about! The grand opening was just this past Monday, and it’s a big success!” He waved a hand towards Kurogane. “But it’s really lonely without you. I need my Aidybear there to help taste things! You’ll have to come as soon as you get out, all right?”

The babbling continued, so Kurogane only paid it half-attention and tried to use the items as a distraction so he wouldn’t be driven insane. At least now he understood why things looked sort of familiar. He’d seen them back in Oto before when they’d had a café there. And now that he was paying attention, he did see the little black cat symbol emblazoned on the cloth Fai was playing with in his hands. Looked like this world was trying to mess with him again, using something like that to try and sway him.

“I don’t like sweets,” was what Kurogane eventually decided to say to that.

Robin had abandoned the cloth to the table and now had his elbows resting atop it, chin cupped neatly in his palms. “Eh? But Aidypyon will eat anything~” he argued, knowing he was right. That was another expected thing of his friend that the staff had informed him of not having changed.

“Just because I will doesn’t mean I always like it,” he returned.

“Hmmmm~” Robin hummed aloud, trying to think of a way, “There’s gotta be something sweet that you like. You’re just too shy to say, I bet. Come on, just let me know and I won’t tell a soul,” he nagged, taking one hand away to poke at Aiden’s shoulder.

“Stop that.” Kurogane swatted at the finger, missing as Robin drew it back.

Robin giggled. “If you tell me, I’ll be sure to bring it next time, made special just for Aidyguu.”

Kurogane grunted, “I already told you I don’t like sweet things.”

“Cake’s good, right? Everybody likes cake! I’ll bake you one!” Robin continued as though he’d met no protests once so ever.

“Stop deciding things on your own! I don’t want cake!”

Robin’s lips pursed and he rolled his chin in his hands, head tilting off to the side. “Cupcakes then?”

Sedation was becoming tempting again. It wouldn’t be too hard to just take up the wooden spoon in the messy pile (or hell, just use the whisk still in his hand) and go up the side of Fai’s head. Something like that would be as good a reason as any other for earning the nurses’ attention, he guessed.

Aiden really was just too easy to tease, Robin mused to himself, chuckling ever so lightly at his friend’s simmering. But that was probably enough for now. Fun though it was, Robin didn’t want to push Aiden over the edge. The nurses had already given them a few disapproving looks for the multiple outbursts, and it just wouldn’t do if they decided the big teddy bear needed a little nap. There’d been enough visits from Robin for the nurses to know that a shout or two wasn’t really that big of a deal though. He could push a little more later if he wanted.

“You haven’t asked about Lily yet,” Robin commented, smile softening just slightly.

Kurogane had been poking at a frillier item in the pile – looked like a pink apron or something – with the whisk when the change of subject drew his attention. He let the whisk go and set a glare at the blond. There were reasons why he’d not asked about “Lily”, the main one being that he didn’t want to know. He’d even told Fai so the last time he’d decided to bring that matter up.

“Or Samuel. You know, they’ll be pretty upset if I have to tell them you aren’t even a little interested in what they’re doing.”

“They’ll get over it,” Kurogane grunted, hoping for that to be the end of it.

If Syaoran had been able to handle when the Princess forgot about him, then Kurogane had no doubt that he could do the same as “Samuel”. He’d be the one to reassure the Princess, or Lily or whatever the hell she went by now that things were fine too. That’s probably what he did every week anyway, given what Fai likely told them. Even if he didn’t say what really happened in these visitations, that girl would still worry. Because, somehow, it really was her.

At first Kurogane had been bothered by how they’d all succumbed to this world’s tricks aside from him. The Princess he’d understood since she’d had problems with memories and who she was ever since he’d first met her, and the magician, while not really having an excuse for acting as he did, had always been weak-willed and given to accepting a lie over reality. Those two being “cured” had been less than surprising, but when the kid disappeared and returned for a visitation of his own…!

Syaoran would have been stronger than that. He’d given up too much to just throw everything away on some made up fantasy life. And Kurogane knew it. The magician would have in a heartbeat, and the Princess was an exception for her condition, but Syaoran would not have given up! So he couldn’t have, wouldn’t have, not like this. Kurogane didn’t know how Landel was doing it, but he wasn’t going to let it happen to him. Not before he found it and ended it.

Seeing the changing mood of his friend, Robin frowned, his first real one of the whole visit. “Are you that set on not remembering?” he asked carefully, “Not even them?”

“There’s nothing to remember,” he insisted, glaring coolly this time.

He couldn’t be angry for how things had gone here. What had happened had happened, no changing it now, and if nothing else it made things easier for the ninja without the others to deal with. By the sound of things they were doing well enough on the “outside”. Sakura and Syaoran were just normal kids in school, and Fai had his café to keep him busy.

No monsters trying to dismember them, no crazy doctors torturing them, and no danger.

“But they’re…” Robin tried, voice a bit hopeful. Aiden always listened, so if he could just find the right thing to say, then maybe… “… Lily’s always worrying over you. She tries not to let it show so Samuel and others won’t worry, but it’s easy to see. Samuel’s better at not showing it so she won’t worry about him either, but…” His watched his own fingers curl together on the table top before bringing his eyes back up, “You still at least recognize that they exist don’t you? That they’re rea--?”

“I know they’re real,” Kurogane cut him off crossly. He listened, yes, but he didn’t like when people attempted to scold him concerning what he did or didn’t believe.

“Then why?” Robin just didn’t understand. Aiden had always been rough around the edges – he had every right to be for how he’d grown up – but he was still a big marshmallow on the inside. He was supposed to do something when people he cared about were hurting, to care himself! “Every day you keep being stubborn, they continue hurting. All your students do. And…” … well, Robin didn’t like it much either. He wanted Aiden out just as the rest of them did. “And you’ve been in here for so long…”

The scolding he didn’t like, and like hell he was going to act sympathetic to any pleas, but hearing Fai or “Robin” stating his mind was something Kurogane always took note of during these visits. He’d noticed it that first visit despite his annoyance with the situation – how Fai said what he wanted without lying even once. Syaoran and Sakura as well, when they’d come, hadn’t spoken one thing they did not honestly believe. It wasn’t that they were accepting the lie, it was that they all honestly believed that it somehow was true. Even Fai had this belief, the same Fai who had been so confused before. The Fai he knew would still be confused, still acting this life out with yet another lie. But he wasn’t.

That alone was why Kurogane knew this wasn’t right.

“I’m not changing my mind,” Kurogane reemphasized his stance and closed his eyes, “Not even if you bring them here again.” That last part he added as a warning. He didn’t want those kids here anymore than Fai did, so it was better they not come at all. When he finally settled things with the one who’d done this, then he’d go get them, and they’d leave. And these visits would end.

“And I never will.”

They were both silent for a long while, Kurogane being through with words and Robin being at a loss for them. Eventually, Robin noticed that other visitors were beginning to leave, so he took to gathering up the things he’d brought for the lesson that never happened. “Well, looks like I’ll have to leave now,” he spoke, attempting to be cheerful once more but failing spectacularly, “So it was cupcakes we decided on, wasn’t it? I’ll be sure not to forget to bring some next time.”

“Do what you want,” Kurogane didn’t care anymore. Fai would bring what he would, and Kurogane would be forced into dealing with it yet again.

“Right.” The last of the items disappeared into the bag – the very same wire whisk he’d had out at the start. “Well, I’ll see you again then? Same time next week!” he laughed, getting back into his playful groove with each step. He was going to be sure he never missed the chance to come so that Aiden understood that this was important to everyone. “All right?”

Kurogane kept his eyes closed and remained silent. Giving the man false hope wasn’t something he exactly enjoyed because it both was and wasn’t Fai all at once. That made anything Kurogane said acceptable only in halves – one part to the altered person, and the other to the real person who couldn’t hear him now. He knew it all too well, and yet he did the same as he always would when Fai was waving his goodbyes.

He lifted his hand and gave a casual wave back. “Fine.”