ext_40252 ([identity profile] melting.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] damned_lounge2007-10-31 09:29 pm
Entry tags:

Oktoberfest '07 Entry, Snoogy Woogy Wips by Kat

Title: Snoogy Woogy Wips
Author: Kat!
Beta: NO ONE!
Word Count: 2450
Rating: Uhh, PG13 for comical death and snogging :D
Character(s): Luxord, Ashton, Axel, Pyramid Head, Raine, Luffy, Luke, Claude, Dias, Guy. Cameo by Heat. Other characters mentioned.
Pairing(s) (if applicable): Dias/Ashton SHUT UP OKAY and mild Axel/Ashton?
Summary: Good luck charm = necklace made out of Reese's Cups! Culinary failures decide that they're hungry! Gratuitous WTFery! Pyramid Head smiles! Making out behind a burning building! Broken ribs? Claude's ideas are tops!
Notes (if applicable): THIS IS MOSTLY OOC. It's not meant to be serious at all. Please, please forgive me for characterization rape and shitty writing. Uhhh, I don't write any of these characters except Ashton, and I don't write fic, so... yeah. UMMMM enjoy. Or something. Also, Axel's a fatass. Forgive meeee. ;_; HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAMNED


There was a coin that he'd pickpocketed from Nursey McNursingson one day. She'd known, of course, and cast the Gambler a reproachful glance before releasing him into the cafeteria that day – but she hadn't seen much harm in letting him keep it. It was only a quarter, of course. A quarter couldn't buy anything these days, and certainly couldn't be used as a very powerful weapon, neither being thin enough to cut skin like a playing card might nor heavy enough to pick up enough momentum to do any damage to the poor patient.

At least that was what she thought.

“Care to hazard another guess?” Luxord was asking an increasingly flustered Ashton one night, flipping the coin in the air and catching it, then slapping down on the back of his hand. “You could win all this back and more, you know.”

It had gotten to the point at which the two did not gamble for mere fun – somehow Ashton's possessions had made their way into the mix, and he had (so far) lost his flashlight, all his batteries, his pens, a load of assorted scrap metal, and his precious journal, which he had put on the line while he had tried to win back the flashlight... That was about it.

He would not tell Luxord about his swords.

But still, there was all that stuff he needed to get back, and maybe – just maybe – if Ashton's luck took a short turn for the better, he could actually start to win things...

The swords Dias had aptly named 'Gyoro and Ururun' flashed in his mind. “W-well, I have...” Ashton took a deep breath, about to mention his treasure, when a familiar, casual voice came from beside him.

“And after Naminé went to all the trouble to get you that flashlight back. She's not going to be very pleased,” Axel was saying, more to Luxord than to Ashton, as he patted his roommate on the back. Luxord's eyes widened – ah. Axel had hit his one weakness, if one didn't count his special tea.

Luxord was speaking up in protest - “He dug his own hole, mate, let the cards play and the coins flip as they will.”- when his nervous gambling partner found himself being dragged backwards.

“My humblest apologies to Lady Luck,” Axel replied sarcastically.

“Ah.. ah, I'm sorry, Luxord! M-maybe some other time,” Ashton apologized, in a not unexpected development. He really didn't mean to disappoint the man, really really, but maybe.. maybe this was for the best.

The faint hint of a blush was tinging his cheeks as they rounded a corner, and Axel stared up into his roommate's green eyes, gently pushing him up against the wall. They were closer than they'd been in a while, and Ashton was preparing to stutter embarrassedly when Axel spoke again, voice warm and teasing. “We're going to get you a good luck charm. I don't really feel too much like playing the savior any more than I already have, and if I had let you almost gamble your swords away – well, your boyfriend would have my hide if he found out.”

Ashton's blush grew. As far as the swordsman knew, no one really knew about the little thing they had going. He hadn't told anyone about the how they'd kissed the other night.. or last night.. or, really, any time they had found themselves alone together, far from prying eyes. But still, they weren't anything, like, serious. Ashton didn't even know what they were, and he was far too shy to ask. “H-he's not.. not my boyfriend. I mean, we're just friends, so I don't.. I don't know, um, what you're talking about..”

Axel closed his eyes for a moment. Could the guy be any more obvious? Seriously, this was ridiculous. Heck, they'd even gone so far as to boot him out of his own room that first night. While Ashton had been wildly apologetic about it the next day, the redhead knew something had happened. Snoogy woogy wips weren't really his thing, of course; it was hard to snuggle and exchange gentle words when one didn't have a real heart. But yeah, he could tell. It didn't take a genius to be able to tell, anyway.

The Nobody sighed. “Riiight. Well, I'm cool with playing along with the charade if you are. Anyway, shall we get going? There's a vending machine on the second floor – it has these tasty little candies, and they're guaranteed to get all the stuff you lost back from the Gambler.” He drew his hand up to brush some of the blushing swordsman's hair out of his eyes. “We can call it our first date, how about that?”

Ashton dropped his gaze shamefully. “Ah.. Axel, that's not.. very funny..” But even so, maybe them wandering around together would make Dias jealous enough to make him.. ask him out. Or something. If he found out. Which he wouldn't. Ashton hoped.

“Sure it is. Besides, we've gone out together lots of times! Just now that you two hang all over each other when nobody's looking, it suddenly means that everything I do with you is worth getting jealous over?” He couldn't deny being at least a little bitter about the whole situation, and he was sure Claude and that blue-haired kid were probably feeling the same way.

Ashton paused for a good long moment, looking up at his roommate with desperate eyes. “I.. I don't want it to be like that, Axel! I.. I'm selfish, but I want to have it all. Friends.. a boyfriend.. and.. and..”

That was when the redhead got even closer, drawing in close until his lips were a centimeter or so away. Ashton could smell the faint aroma of fried chicken on Axel's breath as he spoke. “And your stuff back from Luxord - which is why we have to go upstairs. C'mon, baby, show me a good time for once.” Then he drew away completely, heading for the staircase.

If Ashton wore a necklace made of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, he'd be fine. After all, Luxord's allergy was not only laughable, but quite useful. Good luck charm indeed.

--

There was lightning outside, and a large, muscular figure wearing an apron stained with rust and blood, and also wearing (quite a bit more notably) a huge rusted pyramid-shaped helmet on its head, was standing in the middle of the courtyard, pointed in the direction of the building.

The hulking thing took a single step forward, its sword dragging behind it and leaving a path of broken soil in its wake. And it waited.

They would be coming to visit tonight.

--

Raine started turning on all the burners on the stove in the kitchen, laughing nervously. Why had she decided to work with these unsavory characters in the first place? It was rather nervewracking – but every time she thought she wasn't going to stand it any longer, this 'Luffy' would say something about ruins under the building, and her passion was reignited once more. Anyway – one of these had to be the switch that would open up some sort of trap door, or something like that.

The future Pirate King patted her on the back. “Relax, ruin lady! I'm totally sure that Nami said that the entrance to some kind of ruins was in the kitchen!” His eyes were wide. Man, Robin would love this! “Anyway, I'm pretty sure that the only way to do that is to mess with stuff around here until we find some kind of switch!”

Luke fon Fabre rubbed his stomach. It had been gurgling ever since Riku had swiped his baked potato tonight. Normally he slept through dinner, too! It just didn't make any sense, how someone could be MIA for so long and then come back and just think he could take his potato! “Come on, can't we just make some food or something while we're here in the kitchen?”

“Hey, I think that's a great idea!” Luffy replied. “Come on, guys, let's cook a fourth meal! What do I want...? I know! I want some meat on the bone!” He grinned, looking around excitedly for somewhere meat was kept. Or possibly Sanji...

“...Huh, are you guys cooking?” a voice said from the entrance. “Oh, heeey, Luke! What's going on?”

It was yet another man who should never enter the kitchen, Claude C. Kenni, who'd figured that he would have a little time to swipe something cool from the kitchen before meeting his nightshift date. After all, Ashton could keep his friend entertained just fine, certainly!

“Oh, Claude! We were just making something to eat, hahaha.”

“Mind if I help?”

--

Dias raised his eyebrows. Why wasn't Ashton here in his room, like usual...? Axel wasn't here either... had Ashton been taken again? No. No! He'd allowed his .. friend to go through far too much. And he... he was always a step too late. ...Until he saw the note Ashton had left for him on the bed, with the tiniest heart at the bottom, and nodded. This was acceptable. Still, just because Ashton had said he was out for the night didn't mean he couldn't possibly be getting cornered somewhere, attacked...

He was heading straight back out the door, off to find Ashton, wherever he was...

...when he ran smack into a blond man. The blue-haired man instinctively clutched his sword at his side, ready to draw it and attack if this was some sort of monster. He'd... never seen this person before. Dias took a step back, mumbling “...sorry,” (it was the sort of thing Ashton would insist on) and regarding him head to toe.

He looked.. vaguely familiar. “Claude's friend..?” he asked.

The last heir to the noble Gardios name nodded. “Right. He asked me to meet him at ...Ashton's room tonight. This is M12, isn't it? I assume you're Ashton?” Somehow this guy didn't seem like the type Claude was describing earlier. Too self-assured, maybe? Even though he had apologized, which fit Claude's description of Ashton to a T, but...

Dias paused. The thought of him being mistaken as Ashton was somewhat ludicrous to him; he wasn't sure whether it was the thought of himself in Ashton's normal clothes that did it, but he couldn't help but quirk the side of his lip up, even though there were more pressing matters at hand.. like going to find Ashton. “..no. I'm not. I'm Dias.” He stared at Guy.

Kind of creepy.

The blond took a few steps back into the hallway, chuckling weakly. “Ah, I'm Guy. Well, I suppose ..” He blanched. “..I'll wait around for Claude here, then.”

“No,” Dias replied, aloof as ever. “There's smoke on the air.”

Come to think of it, Guy was smelling something cooking, too. No, something burning. He was having flashbacks of Natalia. Or Luke. Or some unholy combination of the Kimlasca royal pair in the kitchen. “...The building...”

“...is burning. We're going to go find them.” Dias started purposefully walking down the hall.

“Are you kidding? I don't know much about Ashton, but I know Claude said his best friends were swordsmen, and I'm pretty sure that includes him, too. They'll be able to take care of themselves and get out, if the building's really burning.. We need to look out for ourselves right now. ”

Dias had to take pause at that. He'd been so intent on rescuing Ashton from something that might not exist – if he wasn't outside when Ashton would probably try to find him, then Ashton would be worried.

--

“Hahaha, whoops!” Luffy was calling as he ran from the burning kitchen, holding the singed butt of his pants as he led the pack of culinary failures out of the flames.

--

The flood of patients was beginning to pour out the doors into the courtyard. Pyramid Head smiled under the helmet, and started to sprint.

--

“Dias!” Ashton called from the second floor window. “Diaaaas!”

He was afraid that his call wouldn't be heard in the smoky commotion; there were a few people wandering around upstairs, and some of them were starting to come in the room Ashton and Axel were jumping from. Even so, Ashton didn't want to jump unless there was someone below to catch him.

There he was, just as a well-placed shove by Heat hit him in the back and sent him flying out the window.

He fell-

and fell-

and fell-

his life was starting to flash before his eyes-

yes, he was still falling-

and there Dias was, running up with open arms – his savior!

...but, sadly, he missed. Ashton ended up falling right on top of the person who'd jumped directly before him. Thankfully, Axel's body served as a natural cushion – it had to have been all that fried chicken – and Dias was able to scoop him up. In a moment, Axel groaned something about how broken ribs were really not much fun at all, Ashton should think about going a diet, and how they should really go get a room.

Because the two swordsmen were making out behind the burning building like it was going out of style. And the melty, chocolatey mess that was Ashton's necklace of Reese's Cups was dribbling around their shirts.

Luxord was coughing and sputtering as he stared in horror at the display of affection. He was allergic to just about everything that was going on in front of him. It was terrible.

Some of the patients were fighting Pyramid Head. They were all getting cut down. Some were stuck in the building; they were dying, too. There was only one way out, and that involved running around Pyramid Head long enough to stack all the bodies – most of the Arts and Crafts club, from what it seemed like – and making bloody stairs out of them to hop over the walls.

So that was what they did.

--

Of course Claude had been one of the people who'd been able to escape. He hadn't really spoken to much of anybody since the fire. Ashton assumed it was because he'd caught a glimpse of what Ashton and Dias had been getting at, but only a few people knew the real reason.

“Hey,” Guy said, approaching him sometime later. “Luke told me, you know. About how you set the kitchen on fire.” He grinned. “Pretty awesome, I think.”

Claude looked back, pretty glad someone showed some recognition for the genius idea he'd had only after the oil on the stove had caught fire.. “Yeah. Yeah, it was the best idea I've had in a while.”

[identity profile] radiant-howl.livejournal.com 2007-11-01 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
... THIS IS EPIC.

I think I woke the dead when I read the fried chicken comment. Oh lawd. xDDD

[identity profile] callie-chan.livejournal.com 2007-11-01 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
ILU SO MUCH KAT

YOU AND YOUR EPIC WIN.

[identity profile] bondofflame.livejournal.com 2007-11-01 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
OH GOD I THINK I WAS DYING THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS READING THIS. HAHAHAHA AND I CANT BELIEVE YOU TOOK MY 'HIS BREATH SMELLS LIKE FRIED CHICKEN' COMMENT TO HEART.

THIS IS SO EPIC I want to print it and tape it all over my wall.

[identity profile] nest.livejournal.com 2007-11-01 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
THIRDING THE EPIC COMMENT. LOLOLOL. I AM DYING NOW, JUST SO YOU KNOW. THANKS.

[identity profile] per-ardua.livejournal.com 2007-11-02 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
Wait, Raine was in the kitchen, turning on stoves, and she WASN'T the one to accidentally set Landels on fire? XD I suppose it makes sense if someone beat her to it...

Wheeee Ashton/Dias! Poor Axel, though. ^^ Anyway, I like!