jacket: (Vivi - drink in hand)
Jansen ([personal profile] jacket) wrote in [community profile] damned_lounge2012-02-10 02:40 pm
Entry tags:

HMD #5

[community profile] damned_institute HMD Meme

PLEASE READ ALL OF THE BELOW RULES BEFORE POSTING.

1. POSTING TO THIS MEME IS COMPLETELY OPTIONAL. This means that if someone chooses not to participate, you must respect that decision and leave their characters out of any crit you post. Conversely, if you do choose to post your character(s) to the meme, you must accept all constructive input you receive. You do not have to agree with everyone's crit; however, any replies you post are expected to be courteous and respectful.

2. NO UNCONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS. Regardless of the kind of input you're giving, be it reinforcement of something positive or calling attention to something questionable, you must ALWAYS give concrete reasons for why you feel the way you do. "Because," "due to," and "since" are examples of the kind of vocabulary you should use in your feedback. You are also, of course, expected to be courteous and respectful toward your fellow players.

3. PROHIBITED CONTENT IN COMMENTS:

• Unconstructive input, be it negative or positive
• Breaking any rules set by the original input request
• Malicious or sarcastic wording/emoting
• Threats or demands
• Falsification of facts
• Spamming


The above apply both to input givers and input receivers. Any comments containing the above will be subject to being deleted, frozen, or screened, and their posters will be subject to penalties.

IF YOU SEE ANY COMMENTS CONTAINING ANY OF THE ABOVE ISSUES, please do not reply to them and instead notify one of the Head Mods immediately.

4. IP LOGGING IS TURNED ON. However, Court, Psyche and I are the only people who will be able to see the IPs, and we will absolutely not share this information with anyone. The logging will only be used to identify rule-breakers, should the need arise.

5. PLEASE USE THE TEMPLATE BELOW FOR YOUR INPUT REQUEST. If you would like to specify certain guidelines, explain yourself, or ask for focus on a particular aspect of your playing, feel free to do so in the "other" section. Remember: if you're uncomfortable with receiving input in a public setting or if you'd like to give Anons the option of giving you input without their IP being logged, you are perfectly welcome to specify your preferences and link people to your character's personal HMD.

Name/Handle:
Character(s) Played: Character Name ([profile] char_username), Character Name ([profile] char_username)
Anon input allowed?: Y/N
Other: (optional)



---

We're fairly certain no significant problems will arise, but if they do, please e-mails us at damned.mods[at]gmail[dot]com. Alternatively, you can also PM, IM or private Plurk either Court, Psyche or myself. If you have any questions, concerns, or reports about the meme, please do not hesitate to bring them to us.

Thank you!
diamondstorm: (Default)

[personal profile] diamondstorm 2012-02-11 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
Name/Handle: Aison
Character(s) Played: Renamon ([personal profile] diamondstorm), Albedo ([personal profile] purgatio), Mikado ([personal profile] ofthemotions), Rei ([personal profile] hasnomeaning).
Anon input allowed?: Y.
Other: Let me know if I'm slipping anywhere. Or if there's things to work on.
dividedby: (a new journey begins)

[personal profile] dividedby 2012-02-11 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I've always thought it's so cool how you've got four characters into play, and yet they all have their own style going on. I mean, the way you write each one is really different without straying too far from your own personal writing style, and that allows each character's personality stand out while one can still be able to tell you wrote them. If...that makes any sense. this is really really hard for me to describe. XD;;; BUT YEAH. Personally, I find that balance between character voice uniqueness and my own writing style to be challenging with even just two different characters, not to mention trying to make them sound unique from each other alone, so I've always looked up to you for being able to do that so well!

Now, while I can't tell you if you've been specifically slipping with characterization (as the only series you play from that I'm familiar with is Digimon, of which I...only know the first season XD;;;;), you haven't been slipping with Renamon as far as I can tell from all the threads I've had with her. Her voice to me has always been very constant and believable. I've never had a moment where I read a tag from her and thought 'wow, Renamon really did/said that? That seems kind of ooc'. So yeah! I'd say you're just fine with her voice, and overall, I don't think you need to work on anything as far I can tell. Keep up the good tagging! o/
diamondstorm: (Default)

[personal profile] diamondstorm 2012-02-11 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks for that! I worry about that sometimes, if I'm making one more bland or ignoring the voice of another since I have a few. So yeah, it makes sense! And it's a bit reassuring. ♥

And excellent. Thanks so much for the feedback. I'm actually canon reviewing her now so hopefully she maintains that level of consistency. =)

(Anonymous) 2012-02-11 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Sometimes when I stalk your posts I have trouble understanding what you're trying to say- either the syntax is somewhat confused or you don't seem to have proof-read what you've written. I haven't really caught this with Renamon or Mikado, but it seems to be more noticeable with Albedo and Rei.
diamondstorm: (Default)

[personal profile] diamondstorm 2012-02-11 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I understand what you're saying. Could it be the different mentality of the characters? Albedo and Rei are both pretty inhuman, and their thoughts (more his than hers) will sometimes tangent into the abstract and obscure. It's how he's more or less supposed to be, but I'll keep better track of her. In some parts, it's necessary, but I'll strive to be more clear with her going forward. =)

(Anonymous) 2012-02-11 08:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I really appreciate that you're open to discussing it! I did think it could be that at first, but there have been times where I've had trouble understanding what you're saying about very tangible, regular things, like walking outside or sitting down. It can sometimes read like, in an attempt to sound more inhuman or cerebral, you've sort of gotten lost with what you were trying to say, which is why I thought it could be a proof-reading thing.
diamondstorm: (Default)

[personal profile] diamondstorm 2012-02-11 09:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Huh. I really haven't had that pointed out to me before. I'll definitely pay more attention so I can try to see where you're coming from. Unless you had an example or something so I could see straight-out what you mean?

(Anonymous) 2012-02-11 10:18 pm (UTC)(link)
No problem.

http://damned-institute.dreamwidth.org/1193437.html?thread=82203613#cmt82203613

This post here is a pretty good illustration of what I mean just off the top of my head. a place he had no interest in, and one he had only went to willing once. for example was kind of hard to parse at first- do you mean he'd only willingly gone to the greenhouse once? I had to read it through several times to get that. Then there's:

The last time he was here, the last Sunday, and he had taken his brother here, and they had spoke-- Perhaps, then. Is when things had actually started. meanwhile feels badly chopped up in a way that I'm not sure is just stylistic- it's more like you re-wrote part of your post and never read through it again, especially with the verb disagreement (or typo? did you mean "spoken"?) in the first sentence. You also tend to over-use sentence fragments.

I do understand why you do it but it can make your posts really difficult to read and seem sloppy, and a lot of the time the grammar is just plain wrong. I also apologize ahead of time if I sound overly harsh or unfair here!
diamondstorm: (Default)

[personal profile] diamondstorm 2012-02-12 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, I see. Yeah, so more grammar/typo stuff it looks like. I normally don't relook over my posts once I hit submit so that's probably that problem. XD I should probably at least reread over them once. =P

The sentence fragment stuff I do on purpose to show emotions, usually if the character is in a broken/unstable frame of mind, which, LMAO, Albedo is about half the time. So that might be a continuing readability problem, but I think it gets the point I'm trying to show across as well.

Basically, though, I will start paying more attention to what I'm typing. I normally just punch these out and go, so I'll try to add it a little more effort. Thank you for taking the time to comment to me. =)