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damned_lounge2007-10-25 08:40 pm
usoppsenchou.livejournal.com) wrote in damned_lounge2007-10-25 08:40 pm
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Oktoberfest '07 Entry, Chaotic Influences by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aqua_karen
Title: Chaotic Influences
Author:aqua_karen
Word Count: 3161
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Usopp (fail), Yuber, Luffy, off-screen Zoro, Sanji and Nami
Pairing(s): Usopp->Luffy
Summary: Facing a future he'd been in denial about, an alliance made in Landel's starts to awaken in Usopp the realization that he can do more about the future than just lie, and that his greatest lies have always been the ones he's told himself.
Notes: SPOILERS for up to current OP manga. It does address a topic that'll probably come up some day between the OP characters in Landel's, but I'm sure it won't wind up this way, thus ficcage. About 3/4 Usopp's POV with a touch of clumsily written Luffy. *fail still* P.S. Usopp is not right about some things, he is an unreliable narrator!
He'd been halfway through the image before he'd realized he was drawing Merry. The brainstorming of weapons lacked appeal. Usopp had never heard of the Sword of Damocles and yet he could feel it suspended over him, the tip of its blade scraping against his bent back, irritation without the satisfaction of drawing blood.
He'd found out by accident; Zoro seemed to consider the issue closed, and Sanji seemed eager to lay it aside as well. But it wasn't closed... it hadn't even been opened yet. He thought that they thought that he was as surprised as Luffy had been, but that wasn't true. At least, it wasn't a surprise that such a thing could happen. Maybe surprise when a door he'd kept carefully locked since childhood was suddenly found ajar.
He already knew everything inside that locked room, every secret and lie and half-truth and omission all crammed together like merchandise in a discount curio shop, and somehow the omissions took up half the room and made the regular lies seem dwindled to nothing. The soft, childlike voice of Merry, the sight of Luffy covered in blood after fights again and again, the feeling of collapsing onto his back after his own battles with everything aching or burning and the whisper from under the door, "You can't keep this up, next time you won't make it," until he was so frustrated with himself that if he wasn't going to make it he was determined to at least make something.
More curios. Anything. Everything. His greatest work went to Nami--she was better suited for fighting than he was, she had the soul of a fighter. His own efforts varied, but they mostly reeked of desperation even before he'd started putting them together. It had stunned him when he'd managed to pull off that 5-ton hammer gag for so long. The smell of desperation was like fear, though, enemies could scent it on you. Enel hadn't really bothered with his powers on their second encounter, leisurely tossing Usopp around like nothing. By that time Usopp had already heard Merry's voice, already knew there was a sword dangling above him just waiting for the "you won't make it" that would hurt worse than Enel's lightning touch. But he didn't tell anyone. He knew that as soon as he told, the sword would fall. Instead he crammed that memory and that awareness of Merry's wounds into his locked room and was astonished it could fit.
And now he was in another world and knew the future he'd locked away would someday escape and run wild. And he learned that the sword was more than a threat, it was a weapon. After the blade cut off his ridiculous laughing head, his corpse would rise up and take the sword to point it at Luffy.
It was possible that this was a trick, a lie of the Institute's or another universe's Sanji and Zoro. Usopp knew better, though... not because he could be sure of his friends; Zoro's double mark was gone, as was Sanji's, washed off long ago. No, it was the black X in his own heart that he recognized, sign of the familiar.
Show this symbol and prove who you really are.
So he found himself alone in his room wasting the rest of the pastels he'd caged from his doctor on a drawing of an object that was alive and had a voice and was going to die. Wasting batteries, too; he'd been here long enough that he'd had to switch out his flashlight batteries once, and he knew these wouldn't last forever. There were projects to work on, there were promises to keep, there were friends and allies that he'd made here who had never even seen Merry. Who would likely think he belonged in a house like this if he told them how he'd heard the voice of a ship promising to carry the crew a little bit longer and how he'd someday chose to quit his crew and fight his captain for the sake of that inanimate object.
Yet he understood it even before it was explained to him, everything that would happen, like an inescapable current. Or like a sword hanging over his head, the string supporting it growing weaker with each time he opened his mouth to laugh instead of tell what he knew. It had to fall, and he could only choose whether to tell and let it drop faster or linger and draw it out. "You can't keep this up." Sometimes in the back of his mind he thought that what they had on the ship wasn't even healthy, because he shouldn't be so terrified and so enthralled by the mere idea of leaving a crew. "Next time, you won't make it." They didn't have to tell him that he'd lost the fight with Luffy, just knowing the fight happened was enough. And he thought it couldn't be healthy that he was sitting there sketching Merry and thinking of what would hurt Luffy, what sequence of attacks could at least make Luffy stumble back for a moment.
He didn't know what he was. A brave warrior? Luffy was a warrior, Sanji and Zoro were warriors... Nami was a warrior. What was he? He wasn't a healer, the ship was doomed despite his efforts and Kaya'd never left her room until after Luffy arrived and set things right. He wasn't a defender--he couldn't save Merry, he couldn't even protect his own village without the rescue of Luffy and the others. He wasn't an aggressor, fights always terrified him at first, a cowardly heart he couldn't understand when he'd seen his mother die bravely and knew his father was a great pirate. Where had that cowardice come from? Was that what he was, at heart?
Nami, am I a useless coward?
Yes, and stupid too.
It made him angry, even though it was his own thought and his own question. It made him feel humiliated, that he kept coming back to this infantile stage over and over, fear and search of acceptance and need for protection and apologizing. Zoro had said it was over because Usopp had apologized to Luffy afterwards.
Luffy had seemed surprised at the news but not disturbed. Nothing disturbed Luffy. He wondered again how the fight went. He wondered if Luffy even noticed him standing there fighting, he wondered if he'd left any marks. He wondered if he could trust himself, or if he should even worry. As long as he could dance around and sing songs and play games sometimes, maybe it didn't matter that the small dog wasn't socialized right and occasionally tried to get a good bite from the hand that fed it. Sitting alone in his room staring at a perfect reproduction of Merry in two dimensions, he could hear someone laughing at him. If the whole crew depended on Luffy, then why should it bother him and not them? Because Luffy depended on them too, of course. Zoro and Sanji as fighting backup, Sanji's cooking, Nami's navigating, Chopper's medicine, Nami and Robin's brains... He was entertainment, like a pet or a really amusing game. Usopp was at least good at that; he could make orphans laugh at their parents' funerals.
He wanted to make Luffy look at him and not laugh. He wanted to make all of them look at him, open the door wide and demand they look inside and see what they thought then.
It was still infantile. And he'd apologize afterwards and they'd all forget the room even existed. Lies worked best when everyone mutually agreed to fall for them.
Usopp didn't turn when he heard the door open, and he had the sensation of someone coming nearer, but the lack of footsteps surprised him. Not Luffy, Sai or even Sousuke. He glanced around, and from the faint spillover light from the flashlight he'd pointed at his drawing Usopp saw the tall outline of Yuber. Had they made an agreement to meet tonight? He couldn't remember.
"A boat?" Yuber sauntered over noiselessly to look at the subject of Usopp's focus, sounding more amused than genuinely curious.
"Yeah." Usopp didn't explain, instead pushing it aside and placing the flashlight on its end, so it pointed to the ceiling and weakly lit the room. He turned to his ally, a man who always seemed to be on the verge of laughing at Usopp but who also seemed to listen to everything he said, who came to him with projects and confidence after knowing how weak he was and hearing him shriek because a bat attacked him. "Yuber, what's chaos?"
"Hm?" Yuber didn't sit down, though he looked surprised by the question. Surprised and amused, always amused. He put a hand on his hip, smirking down at Usopp. In a room full of harsh shadows cast by the flashlight, he was only a shape made flat by the lack of depth implied by shading, like a sketch or an idea rather than a person. "What do you think it is?"
Usopp looked away, unnerved by the sight of Yuber in this light despite his familiarity. "... It's will to change. If things are all broken, it fixes them, and if everything's fixed, it breaks things. If someone's crying it makes you want to make them laugh and if someone's laughing it makes you want to punch them. It makes you want to blow out candles and light fires." He looked up, filled with an emotion he couldn't describe but felt keenly. "I was terrified of this place, but I'd never been alone with Luffy before. We had to depend on each other to survive. He had to depend on me. I was his only crewmate here. Without me he'd wander around aimlessly. And I was scared, but I thought, it was up to me now. It hadn't been before, not really." Usopp was talking faster now, and was surprised at how well Yuber listened, as though any of this was even slightly interesting to the man--Incarnation of Chaos. "Back on the ship I just did what nobody else was willing to do or what everyone else was too busy to do. And in fights I was always struggling just to keep alive against the weakest enemies, the ones everyone else would have plowed through in a second if they'd even bothered. Here it was all different, I had a chance to... I could be... or I could prove..."
Yuber had shifted positions, though he was looking less entertained now. Maybe listening to Usopp's half-coherent ideas wasn't as funny as Yuber had hoped, or maybe it was a joke he'd heard before. Usopp stumbled ahead anyway.
"Everyone here is weakened, right? Even Luffy, he's still stronger than me but he's not as strong as he used to be. But I am. I'm the same as I ever was. They didn't even think I was worth altering. Maybe I liked being here a little bit, because it was an equalizer, because it was a chance to spit in somebody's face and show what I could really do if I had a chance." Usopp clenched his fists at his sides. "But then the others came here. And I hate it. I don't hate it because they're in danger, they're better off than I am in a place like this. I hate it because now I'm the extra again, the spare. Luffy's got stronger people to fight beside him, he's even got someone smarter to lead him around. What am I doing? What am I supposed to do? I don't even hate them for telling me I'll turn on him." Usopp glanced up at Yuber's face, clarifying. "I'm going to turn on him. When I get home, later on. Because they're from a later time, they know. And I feel really weird about it, mixed-up inside... but I don't feel guilty. Just stupid because I know I'll lose."
"And knowing ahead of time won't help with that? Since you've yet to fight that battle, might you not change it based on what you know now to win?" Yuber offered, apparently brought back to attention by the idea of mutiny or at least in-fighting.
"I could win now," Usopp answered, barely audible. "If we fought here, I think I'd win. Even though he's stronger than me, because I'm used to fighting like this and he's not. Because he's Luffy, he still thinks of himself as being so strong even though he's been weakened. I could beat him here."
"And what is stopping you?" Yuber's voice was sweet and strange, like a melody played entirely in tune yet out of context so the listener didn't know what to think, whether to appreciate it or be offended at the incongruity.
Usopp was slow to answer. He knew the sword was there, he knew it would fall and he couldn't deny it to himself any more. The door was open. He could turn around, grab the sword before it ever had the chance to cut deep, strike a blow for pride that had been born wounded against a man who wasn't in the least responsible. He could stab his friend in the back because he knew a frontal assault would fail. He could do so many things that suddenly it overwhelmed him and he looked down at his own hands as though surprised to see them there. He could hurt someone. He could be frightening. He could be a demon, a witch, a devil, a monster, he could be anything, he could. What stopped him? What always stopped him?
You can't keep this up.
"I don't know," he answered in a whisper.
Luffy had knocked loudly on the door, then ignored the lack of response and opened the door anyway. The room was dark, so it was a good thing he'd brought his flashlight. Otherwise, he wouldn't have seen Usopp sitting in the dark staring at something on his desk... which was pretty weird, because how could Usopp see it in a dark room? Even the sniper's eyes weren't that good.
"What're you doing?" Luffy asked as he stepped closer, but Usopp just glanced back at Luffy with a funny expression on his face before turning away again. That expression worried Luffy, because it didn't seem to fit on Usopp. Laughing or screaming or grinning or crying were all Usopp. This was something else and new and strange. But it was also still Usopp, even if it was different, and Luffy walked right up to Usopp to see what he'd been staring at in the dark. The notebook on the table was open to a blank page.
"Do you trust me?" At least Usopp was talking now, even if he wasn't looking at Luffy yet.
"Of course I do!" That was easy to answer.
"Why?"
"Because you're my crewmate." Again, easy. Usopp was asking about some pretty obvious stuff tonight... although Luffy somehow got the feeling that Usopp didn't see them as so obvious right now. Usopp was smart, but sometimes that could make him stupid too, because he thought too much about stuff that was simple and tried to make it complicated.
"But you know I'm going to turn on you! Someday I won't be your crewmate!" Usopp faced Luffy again, but now he looked angry, like Nami's face when she'd tried to scare them all off from Arlong Park. It was kind of funny how people kept trying to warn Luffy about danger all the time, as if he really didn't know it was there or that knowing would change his mind.
"I know, but that happens later," Luffy answered, not responding to Usopp's glares with anything more than a calm expression. "Besides, they said we made up again later, right? Anyway, even if you and I have a fight... you're still going to be Usopp. So I trust you."
Usopp's face was twitching in a way that might have made Luffy laugh in another situation, as though Usopp couldn't decide what mood he should be in. Finally he just settled on turning his back to Luffy again. "So knowing that doesn't bother you at all?"
"Well, it sounds sad," Luffy scratched his cheek thoughtfully, "I'll probably miss you a lot. But I know you'll come back, so it's not so sad." Even having a kind of weird Usopp around was better than no Usopp.
"What if I didn't come back?" Usopp sounded challenging. "What if I left and stayed gone?"
"I guess that'd be up to you. I'd miss you," Luffy repeated. What else was there to say?
Usopp glanced back over his shoulder again. "You're pretty dumb sometimes, Luffy."
"Hey!" Put-out by the unexpected insult, Luffy answered, "If I'm dumb, why do you keep asking me the same questions over and over?"
"I don't know." Saying that, Usopp seemed to hunch in on himself.
Confused a bit by Usopp's weird moods and worried about the sniper's state of mind, Luffy leaned forward to take the other man by the shoulders, maneuvering him around to face Luffy. Then Luffy laid out what he knew, hoping it would be enough to satisfy Usopp's questions. "You're really important to me. You're my crewmate and my friend. You're a great liar, you make really cool stuff, you're fun to play jokes with and you're really smart. You're my sniper and you can shoot better than anybody, because I need you to. If you really want to leave then you should go, but I don't want you to. I want you to want to stay. And if you leave, I want you to come home."
Usopp stared in response for a long time, and Luffy was starting to worry if there were something really wrong with the sniper before he finally moved.
What is stopping you?
I want him to look at me and not laugh.
It's all different.
I could. Anything.
What is stopping you?
I don't know.
Usopp took Luffy's cheeks in either hand before tilting his captain's head strategically and leaning forward to kiss.
Author:
aqua_karenWord Count: 3161
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Usopp (fail), Yuber, Luffy, off-screen Zoro, Sanji and Nami
Pairing(s): Usopp->Luffy
Summary: Facing a future he'd been in denial about, an alliance made in Landel's starts to awaken in Usopp the realization that he can do more about the future than just lie, and that his greatest lies have always been the ones he's told himself.
Notes: SPOILERS for up to current OP manga. It does address a topic that'll probably come up some day between the OP characters in Landel's, but I'm sure it won't wind up this way, thus ficcage. About 3/4 Usopp's POV with a touch of clumsily written Luffy. *fail still* P.S. Usopp is not right about some things, he is an unreliable narrator!
He'd been halfway through the image before he'd realized he was drawing Merry. The brainstorming of weapons lacked appeal. Usopp had never heard of the Sword of Damocles and yet he could feel it suspended over him, the tip of its blade scraping against his bent back, irritation without the satisfaction of drawing blood.
He'd found out by accident; Zoro seemed to consider the issue closed, and Sanji seemed eager to lay it aside as well. But it wasn't closed... it hadn't even been opened yet. He thought that they thought that he was as surprised as Luffy had been, but that wasn't true. At least, it wasn't a surprise that such a thing could happen. Maybe surprise when a door he'd kept carefully locked since childhood was suddenly found ajar.
He already knew everything inside that locked room, every secret and lie and half-truth and omission all crammed together like merchandise in a discount curio shop, and somehow the omissions took up half the room and made the regular lies seem dwindled to nothing. The soft, childlike voice of Merry, the sight of Luffy covered in blood after fights again and again, the feeling of collapsing onto his back after his own battles with everything aching or burning and the whisper from under the door, "You can't keep this up, next time you won't make it," until he was so frustrated with himself that if he wasn't going to make it he was determined to at least make something.
More curios. Anything. Everything. His greatest work went to Nami--she was better suited for fighting than he was, she had the soul of a fighter. His own efforts varied, but they mostly reeked of desperation even before he'd started putting them together. It had stunned him when he'd managed to pull off that 5-ton hammer gag for so long. The smell of desperation was like fear, though, enemies could scent it on you. Enel hadn't really bothered with his powers on their second encounter, leisurely tossing Usopp around like nothing. By that time Usopp had already heard Merry's voice, already knew there was a sword dangling above him just waiting for the "you won't make it" that would hurt worse than Enel's lightning touch. But he didn't tell anyone. He knew that as soon as he told, the sword would fall. Instead he crammed that memory and that awareness of Merry's wounds into his locked room and was astonished it could fit.
And now he was in another world and knew the future he'd locked away would someday escape and run wild. And he learned that the sword was more than a threat, it was a weapon. After the blade cut off his ridiculous laughing head, his corpse would rise up and take the sword to point it at Luffy.
It was possible that this was a trick, a lie of the Institute's or another universe's Sanji and Zoro. Usopp knew better, though... not because he could be sure of his friends; Zoro's double mark was gone, as was Sanji's, washed off long ago. No, it was the black X in his own heart that he recognized, sign of the familiar.
Show this symbol and prove who you really are.
So he found himself alone in his room wasting the rest of the pastels he'd caged from his doctor on a drawing of an object that was alive and had a voice and was going to die. Wasting batteries, too; he'd been here long enough that he'd had to switch out his flashlight batteries once, and he knew these wouldn't last forever. There were projects to work on, there were promises to keep, there were friends and allies that he'd made here who had never even seen Merry. Who would likely think he belonged in a house like this if he told them how he'd heard the voice of a ship promising to carry the crew a little bit longer and how he'd someday chose to quit his crew and fight his captain for the sake of that inanimate object.
Yet he understood it even before it was explained to him, everything that would happen, like an inescapable current. Or like a sword hanging over his head, the string supporting it growing weaker with each time he opened his mouth to laugh instead of tell what he knew. It had to fall, and he could only choose whether to tell and let it drop faster or linger and draw it out. "You can't keep this up." Sometimes in the back of his mind he thought that what they had on the ship wasn't even healthy, because he shouldn't be so terrified and so enthralled by the mere idea of leaving a crew. "Next time, you won't make it." They didn't have to tell him that he'd lost the fight with Luffy, just knowing the fight happened was enough. And he thought it couldn't be healthy that he was sitting there sketching Merry and thinking of what would hurt Luffy, what sequence of attacks could at least make Luffy stumble back for a moment.
He didn't know what he was. A brave warrior? Luffy was a warrior, Sanji and Zoro were warriors... Nami was a warrior. What was he? He wasn't a healer, the ship was doomed despite his efforts and Kaya'd never left her room until after Luffy arrived and set things right. He wasn't a defender--he couldn't save Merry, he couldn't even protect his own village without the rescue of Luffy and the others. He wasn't an aggressor, fights always terrified him at first, a cowardly heart he couldn't understand when he'd seen his mother die bravely and knew his father was a great pirate. Where had that cowardice come from? Was that what he was, at heart?
Nami, am I a useless coward?
Yes, and stupid too.
It made him angry, even though it was his own thought and his own question. It made him feel humiliated, that he kept coming back to this infantile stage over and over, fear and search of acceptance and need for protection and apologizing. Zoro had said it was over because Usopp had apologized to Luffy afterwards.
Luffy had seemed surprised at the news but not disturbed. Nothing disturbed Luffy. He wondered again how the fight went. He wondered if Luffy even noticed him standing there fighting, he wondered if he'd left any marks. He wondered if he could trust himself, or if he should even worry. As long as he could dance around and sing songs and play games sometimes, maybe it didn't matter that the small dog wasn't socialized right and occasionally tried to get a good bite from the hand that fed it. Sitting alone in his room staring at a perfect reproduction of Merry in two dimensions, he could hear someone laughing at him. If the whole crew depended on Luffy, then why should it bother him and not them? Because Luffy depended on them too, of course. Zoro and Sanji as fighting backup, Sanji's cooking, Nami's navigating, Chopper's medicine, Nami and Robin's brains... He was entertainment, like a pet or a really amusing game. Usopp was at least good at that; he could make orphans laugh at their parents' funerals.
He wanted to make Luffy look at him and not laugh. He wanted to make all of them look at him, open the door wide and demand they look inside and see what they thought then.
It was still infantile. And he'd apologize afterwards and they'd all forget the room even existed. Lies worked best when everyone mutually agreed to fall for them.
Usopp didn't turn when he heard the door open, and he had the sensation of someone coming nearer, but the lack of footsteps surprised him. Not Luffy, Sai or even Sousuke. He glanced around, and from the faint spillover light from the flashlight he'd pointed at his drawing Usopp saw the tall outline of Yuber. Had they made an agreement to meet tonight? He couldn't remember.
"A boat?" Yuber sauntered over noiselessly to look at the subject of Usopp's focus, sounding more amused than genuinely curious.
"Yeah." Usopp didn't explain, instead pushing it aside and placing the flashlight on its end, so it pointed to the ceiling and weakly lit the room. He turned to his ally, a man who always seemed to be on the verge of laughing at Usopp but who also seemed to listen to everything he said, who came to him with projects and confidence after knowing how weak he was and hearing him shriek because a bat attacked him. "Yuber, what's chaos?"
"Hm?" Yuber didn't sit down, though he looked surprised by the question. Surprised and amused, always amused. He put a hand on his hip, smirking down at Usopp. In a room full of harsh shadows cast by the flashlight, he was only a shape made flat by the lack of depth implied by shading, like a sketch or an idea rather than a person. "What do you think it is?"
Usopp looked away, unnerved by the sight of Yuber in this light despite his familiarity. "... It's will to change. If things are all broken, it fixes them, and if everything's fixed, it breaks things. If someone's crying it makes you want to make them laugh and if someone's laughing it makes you want to punch them. It makes you want to blow out candles and light fires." He looked up, filled with an emotion he couldn't describe but felt keenly. "I was terrified of this place, but I'd never been alone with Luffy before. We had to depend on each other to survive. He had to depend on me. I was his only crewmate here. Without me he'd wander around aimlessly. And I was scared, but I thought, it was up to me now. It hadn't been before, not really." Usopp was talking faster now, and was surprised at how well Yuber listened, as though any of this was even slightly interesting to the man--Incarnation of Chaos. "Back on the ship I just did what nobody else was willing to do or what everyone else was too busy to do. And in fights I was always struggling just to keep alive against the weakest enemies, the ones everyone else would have plowed through in a second if they'd even bothered. Here it was all different, I had a chance to... I could be... or I could prove..."
Yuber had shifted positions, though he was looking less entertained now. Maybe listening to Usopp's half-coherent ideas wasn't as funny as Yuber had hoped, or maybe it was a joke he'd heard before. Usopp stumbled ahead anyway.
"Everyone here is weakened, right? Even Luffy, he's still stronger than me but he's not as strong as he used to be. But I am. I'm the same as I ever was. They didn't even think I was worth altering. Maybe I liked being here a little bit, because it was an equalizer, because it was a chance to spit in somebody's face and show what I could really do if I had a chance." Usopp clenched his fists at his sides. "But then the others came here. And I hate it. I don't hate it because they're in danger, they're better off than I am in a place like this. I hate it because now I'm the extra again, the spare. Luffy's got stronger people to fight beside him, he's even got someone smarter to lead him around. What am I doing? What am I supposed to do? I don't even hate them for telling me I'll turn on him." Usopp glanced up at Yuber's face, clarifying. "I'm going to turn on him. When I get home, later on. Because they're from a later time, they know. And I feel really weird about it, mixed-up inside... but I don't feel guilty. Just stupid because I know I'll lose."
"And knowing ahead of time won't help with that? Since you've yet to fight that battle, might you not change it based on what you know now to win?" Yuber offered, apparently brought back to attention by the idea of mutiny or at least in-fighting.
"I could win now," Usopp answered, barely audible. "If we fought here, I think I'd win. Even though he's stronger than me, because I'm used to fighting like this and he's not. Because he's Luffy, he still thinks of himself as being so strong even though he's been weakened. I could beat him here."
"And what is stopping you?" Yuber's voice was sweet and strange, like a melody played entirely in tune yet out of context so the listener didn't know what to think, whether to appreciate it or be offended at the incongruity.
Usopp was slow to answer. He knew the sword was there, he knew it would fall and he couldn't deny it to himself any more. The door was open. He could turn around, grab the sword before it ever had the chance to cut deep, strike a blow for pride that had been born wounded against a man who wasn't in the least responsible. He could stab his friend in the back because he knew a frontal assault would fail. He could do so many things that suddenly it overwhelmed him and he looked down at his own hands as though surprised to see them there. He could hurt someone. He could be frightening. He could be a demon, a witch, a devil, a monster, he could be anything, he could. What stopped him? What always stopped him?
You can't keep this up.
"I don't know," he answered in a whisper.
Luffy had knocked loudly on the door, then ignored the lack of response and opened the door anyway. The room was dark, so it was a good thing he'd brought his flashlight. Otherwise, he wouldn't have seen Usopp sitting in the dark staring at something on his desk... which was pretty weird, because how could Usopp see it in a dark room? Even the sniper's eyes weren't that good.
"What're you doing?" Luffy asked as he stepped closer, but Usopp just glanced back at Luffy with a funny expression on his face before turning away again. That expression worried Luffy, because it didn't seem to fit on Usopp. Laughing or screaming or grinning or crying were all Usopp. This was something else and new and strange. But it was also still Usopp, even if it was different, and Luffy walked right up to Usopp to see what he'd been staring at in the dark. The notebook on the table was open to a blank page.
"Do you trust me?" At least Usopp was talking now, even if he wasn't looking at Luffy yet.
"Of course I do!" That was easy to answer.
"Why?"
"Because you're my crewmate." Again, easy. Usopp was asking about some pretty obvious stuff tonight... although Luffy somehow got the feeling that Usopp didn't see them as so obvious right now. Usopp was smart, but sometimes that could make him stupid too, because he thought too much about stuff that was simple and tried to make it complicated.
"But you know I'm going to turn on you! Someday I won't be your crewmate!" Usopp faced Luffy again, but now he looked angry, like Nami's face when she'd tried to scare them all off from Arlong Park. It was kind of funny how people kept trying to warn Luffy about danger all the time, as if he really didn't know it was there or that knowing would change his mind.
"I know, but that happens later," Luffy answered, not responding to Usopp's glares with anything more than a calm expression. "Besides, they said we made up again later, right? Anyway, even if you and I have a fight... you're still going to be Usopp. So I trust you."
Usopp's face was twitching in a way that might have made Luffy laugh in another situation, as though Usopp couldn't decide what mood he should be in. Finally he just settled on turning his back to Luffy again. "So knowing that doesn't bother you at all?"
"Well, it sounds sad," Luffy scratched his cheek thoughtfully, "I'll probably miss you a lot. But I know you'll come back, so it's not so sad." Even having a kind of weird Usopp around was better than no Usopp.
"What if I didn't come back?" Usopp sounded challenging. "What if I left and stayed gone?"
"I guess that'd be up to you. I'd miss you," Luffy repeated. What else was there to say?
Usopp glanced back over his shoulder again. "You're pretty dumb sometimes, Luffy."
"Hey!" Put-out by the unexpected insult, Luffy answered, "If I'm dumb, why do you keep asking me the same questions over and over?"
"I don't know." Saying that, Usopp seemed to hunch in on himself.
Confused a bit by Usopp's weird moods and worried about the sniper's state of mind, Luffy leaned forward to take the other man by the shoulders, maneuvering him around to face Luffy. Then Luffy laid out what he knew, hoping it would be enough to satisfy Usopp's questions. "You're really important to me. You're my crewmate and my friend. You're a great liar, you make really cool stuff, you're fun to play jokes with and you're really smart. You're my sniper and you can shoot better than anybody, because I need you to. If you really want to leave then you should go, but I don't want you to. I want you to want to stay. And if you leave, I want you to come home."
Usopp stared in response for a long time, and Luffy was starting to worry if there were something really wrong with the sniper before he finally moved.
What is stopping you?
I want him to look at me and not laugh.
It's all different.
I could. Anything.
What is stopping you?
I don't know.
Usopp took Luffy's cheeks in either hand before tilting his captain's head strategically and leaning forward to kiss.
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Though since like 4 people in the entire game would even get this, I'll probably get maybe two responses total. XD;; Your fic is better suited for people to actually, erm, read it.
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That was beautiful, dude. You're so amazing at writing Usopp and keeping him perfectly IC, especially during really serious, sad situations like these. I think everyone's reactions to learning about The Big Fight were spot on, and I loved the imagery you used through out the story, particularly with the sword looming over him, hanging by a string, ready to fall at any moment. That really sums up how things were/are between Usopp and Luffy, I think, and you did a really great job illustrating how complicated their relationship really is. *_* I enjoyed your portrayal of Luffy, too. Very IC. 8D Also, UsoLu = win.
Thank you for writing this! Love love love love! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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♥ I'm sure that things won't turn out this way in the game, even though I think the Merry issue's got to come up sometime and the Fight might too, but this was an idea I wanted to play with anyhow.
I'm especially happy with the Sword of Damocles as an analogy because it's also from a story about someone who envied a King. XD;;; (I wasn't thinking that when I wrote it, but later it occurred to me.)
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This... this broke my heart though. In a good way. It made me want to chuck Usopp's Sogeking mask at him and yell "STFUHO YOUR NAKAMA LOVE YOU." He needs some special positive reinforcement, I think. :/
That conversation with Luffy was sweet, though. Nice and... well. Let's just say I could practically feel Usopp's pain/insecurity/jealousy/what have you bleeding from the words. Nice~ ♥
I'd try to take over the world if I could write IC drama this well. Not that I'm... suggesting anything. Cough.no subject
Ahh, thank you very much for the compliments. *bows* It makes me really happy to get feedback like this. I'm always nervous if I post something
self-indulgently navel-gazingcharacterization-angsty like this. ♥no subject
Kinky!That's practically a Straw Hat motto. (Um, does it matter? We're pirates. 8D)Nyah~ your writing this is thanks enough
AHAHAHA CHEEZY LINES. And I, personally, like your character angst (when it makes its appearance, at any rate). It’s always well thought out and in-character. xBno subject
Eeeeee. I'll keep doing my best! *bows again*
I have to wonder what someone who doesn't know OP and sees that character design, or maybe if someone's only seen parts of the dub or some of the early manga, would think/thinks if reading all this teh drama. XD;;;;
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YEEEEY! Good! ♥♥♥ *Zoro surreptitiously starts tapping on his sword hilts*
Guwahahahaha. They'll prolly "Whut whut whut wait!" their way through an aneurism. Angst + Drama + One Piece = SYNTAX ERROR. XDDDD
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If I may criticise, I'm not quite sure I entirely believe in Luffy's reactions by the end. He is pretty hard to predict, to be sure, and it's entirely possible he might take it just like this (and it's not like I'd personally have a clue as to what he might otherwise say). Still, when you know from the manga how devastated he was by Usopp's leaving it does feel slightly odd to see him so blithe and trusting here. Even though obviously knowing Usopp will come back in the end would make for a huge difference. Well, again it's not like I have a better suggestion, though.
I understand this piece is out of continuity, but it still made me pretty curious about this whole Landel RP thing. Looking further, I note that you're also writing another of my favourite characters, namely Mark Vorkosigan. You wouldn't have written any similar standalone thing with him, would you? *hopeful look*
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About Luffy, I'm not the Luffy player here, so I don't want to be going I Am King of What Luffy Would Do... Still, I don't think Luffy would take the fight as heavily as Usopp would, given the way they're theoretically told of it in the story (hasn't actually happened at Landel's).
Luffy isn't the type to worry about far-future problems that are of a smaller size than "My nakama will be killed" (much to Nami's frequent trouble.) Luffy also doesn't know how serious the fight was, since whoever spilled about it (all current OP players other than the Luffy and Usopp came in from the timeline after Enies Lobby @_@;) probably immediately tried to downplay it. If Luffy's told "Okay, you'll have a bad fight with Usopp, but then he'll apologize and rejoin," I think in Luffy's book that's an immediate reason to strike it off the list of actual problems. That is, Usopp's forgiven before he's even asked for forgiveness. In the manga, it didn't even take the apology, Luffy was bouncy and eager to get Usopp back before Zoro pointed out the need for one. Here, there's nothing to rein in that first impulse of immediate acceptance. Learning that Merry dies should certainly result in a more serious reaction than the knowledge of the fight, I think, and I didn't touch on that.
But, that's just my viewpoint/reasoning. I almost left the Luffy part out because in Landel's, Luffy and Usopp aren't actually going to be having any LuUso, and that makes it a much darker fic, ending with Usopp realizing he's pretty serious business. If you like, you can pretend the fic ends there. XD;;; It almost did.
I'm afraid I don't have anything like this for Mark. The Oktoberfest ficcing happened before Mark joined. It's nice to meet another Vorkogisan fan, though!
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I think Bujold is pretty awesome in general. But Mark is probably my favourite of her characters.